finding joy through loss

This can totally test your strength. This can be the hardest thing to do. For me, almost two weeks ago, I had the worst day I’ve had in a long, long time- though I understand how fortunate I am to say that. Opening up about this was rough in the beginning, but as soon as I did, I could feel this great sense of healing start to take place. Quickly after posting the very first announcement of what had happened (also saved in the IG story highlight ‘hope’), I knew it was the right decision.

Ironically, sometimes sharing things for multiple thousands of IG followers is a breeze. It’s the ones who you personally know and are close to in everyday life you wonder about telling. Not for that to come off the wrong way, but it’s as though you don’t want to make them worry, or feel obligated to check in, and just the huge amount of vulnerability it takes to do so. Being a million percent certain, I’m glad I did.

At six weeks pregnant, I ALMOST told the whole world our news. Unlike so many who wait the first trimester or even longer, I was thinking it would be so amazing to go against the odds and let it out sooner. Of course with the risk of miscarriage, I was hesitant. If all the ‘congratulations’ would start rolling in, then we lost the baby, it would be terrifying- Am I right? The thing is, I STILL ended up telling it all anyway, from the very first test at home to the heartbreaking day it was over.

We desperately need to unite and cultivate this community of motherhood. As we share the same, yet different emotions in all seasons of life, it’s so comforting to have each other. Miscarriage IS making its way into conversations, but one reason we won’t announce the news the day we find out is because of the stigma. No judgement here, either way you choose your privacy, but there needs to be a safe place for all- including the babies we will never get to know.

Speaking to the incredibly kind Brittany Sanchez with Raising Wild Podcast, was an absolute honor. We are both so thrilled to launch this story on ‘Finding Joy Through Loss’. It’s times like these, in the midst of the hurt, we can inspire and help heal others.

Thank you all for listening. I’ve felt all your love, prayers and positive vibes. Saying this was tough is an understatement, but stepping though and expressing these emotions has eased some of the pain. To the grieving mama, if you need someone to talk to or just need to vent, I’m here.

I will never forget the sincerity and warmth you all have shown me during this season. So much love… xo